Overcome the Fear of Speaking Up

Meet David. Admired by his colleagues for his critical thinking skills and innovative ideas, he often struggles to voice his thoughts during meetings, fearing they might be regarded as futile or illogical.

Can you identify with David's predicament? Have you ever struggled with the fear of speaking up, questioning the validity of your own thoughts, and perhaps in the end decided to stay silent and let the moment pass?

Shattering the myths of silence

Let's address some popular misconceptions that may have been keeping you mute. The widespread notion that confidence is an inborn trait enjoyed by a select few is a myth.

Confidence is a learnable skill that can be cultivated with practice.

Not feeling confident in speaking up isn't a reason not to.

Read that again. Slowly.

Not feeling confident in speaking up isn't a reason not to.

You ONLY gain confidence by doing it so it's completely normal to feel nervous for the first time, and maybe several times after that. There's no way to avoid it, so push yourself to feel the fear and do it anyway.

Another fallacy is the belief that speaking up inevitably results in conflict. While communication can lead to disagreements. This is normal.

Someone disagreeing with you does not make your point invalid, in the same way that you disagreeing with them doesn't invalidate their point - or to be more specific, the right for them to voice their opinion.

Disagreement can and should be expected to happen in healthy work environments. It's how to navigate them when they happen that makes the difference.

Finally, there's a misconception that only individuals in positions of authority should voice their thoughts. On the contrary, everyone has a unique perspective and the potential to offer valuable insights, regardless of their job title.

The art of expressing yourself

There are key steps you can take to overcome your fear of speaking up:

Self-Awareness: Identify the root of your hesitation. Understanding your fears is the first step towards conquering them.

Examples include fear of being disliked, fear of rejection, fear of sounding stupid, and fear of upsetting the other person.

If you're experiencing these symptoms, then you'll need to go deeper. It could be an insecurity that has come from a false belief in the past. Or the need to people-please because your self-esteem comes from other's approval of you.

Preparation: Hold a calm and steady posture. Get a clear picture of the outcome you want. Ensure your points are clear and respectful, aiming for constructive communication.

A healthy posture in this context is about trusting yourself.

Trust that you will be able to handle whatever response comes back.

This is far more important than trying to control the outcome.

Belief: Have faith in the significance of your perspective. Every thought matters, and your voice can indeed make a difference.

Every thought matters. It's not about being right or wrong. It's about sharing your opinion because your voice matters. This is instant leadership - exerting influence in the moment because you have something you want to share.

Embracing the ups and downs

When you give it a go for the first time, you may not get the result you want.

Your growth comes from consistent application. This will take time. If someone disagrees with your ideas, don't let it halt your progress. Instead, use it as an opportunity to learn from and tweak for next time.

You might wonder, “What if my voice quivers?" or "What if my ideas get shot down?” Remember, it's natural to have these doubts.

It's important to remember that even the most balanced people you've seen weren't very good at some point earlier on. Everybody has to start somewhere.

Authenticity and perfection are two different things — always aim for the former.

Embrace the journey

By consistently practising speaking up, you'll make significant progress towards overcoming your fear of speaking up.

Fear can be conquered both by being more self-aware of the root issues and by simply taking action in spite of it.

It's a journey, not a quick fix. As you persevere and continue to express yourself, you'll not only see personal growth but also, quite probably, inspire those around you.

As the saying goes,